Your partner has just told you: she's pregnant, and in a few months, you'll be a dad! This news is a great source of joy, but sometimes also of anxiety: your life will change, as will your partner's physical appearance, and you don't know exactly what to expect... Don't panic: you have 9 months to prepare for the arrival of your child, and your worries are perfectly normal. During this very special period, you will have to support the mother-to-be, but also slowly move towards your own parenthood. Discover with us how to best prepare for the big event approaching.
Supporting the mother-to-be daily
Pregnancy is a considerable upheaval for your partner, both physically and emotionally. Throughout the next nine months, she will need your material and emotional support.
- From the very first weeks, she may suffer from sometimes intense nausea. To relieve her, take charge of meal preparation as much as possible: this will prevent her from having to handle foods that sicken her. Also, remember to bring her something to eat before she gets up in the morning: this often helps to alleviate nausea.
- Overall, pregnancy is a very tiring period for the mother-to-be. Relieve her as much as possible from material tasks and encourage her to rest. If you sometimes feel that she is not taking enough care of herself in relation to her pregnancy, discuss it with her and offer her your help and support so that she can slow down.
- You may also be surprised by her mood swings: these are mainly linked to hormonal changes, which often lead to extreme sensitivity. Be patient and listen, reassure her if she seems anxious.
- From the 2nd trimester of pregnancy, your partner starts to get tired from the weight of her belly, which makes any physical activity and even simple standing difficult. Relieve her whenever you can: do the shopping for her, carry heavy loads, take care of housework or cooking, slow down so she can walk beside you if she tends to get out of breath...
- If she suffers from back pain or heavy legs (common problems especially at the end of pregnancy), offer her a massage to relax her. These tender moments will also be an opportunity for you to reconnect intimately.
- The couple's sexuality is often disrupted during pregnancy, and your partner's libido may be less intense than usual. Sometimes, pregnancy also changes physical reactions: reduced vaginal lubrication, pain during penetration, or post-orgasmic uterine contractions can also diminish her desire. Be patient and understanding, and avoid making it a subject of disagreement.
Getting involved in the pregnancy
From the first weeks of pregnancy, your partner feels the change happening throughout her body. For you, all this remains very abstract, and it is sometimes difficult for you to get as involved as she is in the anticipation of the big event... Many small gestures can help you become aware of your future fatherhood and show your commitment to the mother-to-be.
- If you have the opportunity, accompany her to her pregnancy follow-up appointments with her gynecologist or midwife. This will allow you to ask your questions and hear at the same time as her the advice and recommendations she will be given. From the 2nd month of pregnancy, this will also give you the opportunity to hear the life stirring in her womb, by listening to the embryo's heartbeats. A magical and often overwhelming sound that will help anchor the reality of pregnancy in you.
- Similarly, make sure you are present for the three main ultrasounds. You will then be able to see your baby, realize how much he moves, how active, how alive he is! At the end of each examination, do not hesitate to ask the practitioner questions or ask him to show you some more images of your child if you feel like it.
- When choosing your childbirth preparation method, consider haptonomy: defined as the science of affectivity, it gives a privileged place to the future father. Sessions can begin as soon as the baby's movements are perceptible to your partner. Based on dialogue with your child through specific touches, haptonomy offers you a unique way to establish an emotional communication with him.
- Do not hesitate to get involved with your partner in choosing the maternity ward. Even if this choice is often made by the mother-to-be based on her birth plan, give your opinion: the welcome of fathers in birth preparation, in the delivery room, and during the stay in the maternity ward are important criteria for you as well as for her! Respect for the place you will want to take alongside her during and after the birth is important to help you enter your new role as a father.
- When your partner has started to feel your baby move, try in turn to perceive it by placing your hands on the lower part of her belly. At first, do not expect to feel big kicks, but rather a presence that fills your hand or a sensation comparable to small bursting bubbles. If you don't perceive anything yet, be patient and repeat the experience a few days later.
- Once you have managed to feel your baby, take a quiet moment that you will devote fully to communicating with him, every day if possible. You can not only touch him through the belly, but also talk to him, let him listen to music...
- To project yourself into the future life with your child, get involved in the material preparation for his arrival: take care of repainting his room, participate in choosing the furniture or the stroller that will fill you with pride when you walk your baby! Your partner will certainly be touched to see you so involved.
