After nine months of waiting , your baby has finally arrived: you're a dad! The birth of your child is an immense source of joy and a profoundly moving experience: all your thoughts now turn to this tiny, vulnerable being whom you never tire of gazing at. In just a few hours, you've also gone from being a couple to a family: a new chapter begins and a new life starts! Discover our tips for navigating your baby's first months with complete peace of mind and fully enjoying this exceptional time.
Moving from couple to family
The arrival of your baby is a wonderful event, but also a major upheaval. The balance you had built with your partner may be disrupted: you are transitioning from a couple to a family, and each of you must redefine your place and role. Give yourselves time to... finding a new balance, with your baby, as a couple and with the extended family!
Redefining roles
• Solidarity with your wife is essential to managing your new parental responsibilities with complete peace of mind. You made this child together, and you'll be two to take care of it! For the first few months, your partner will need your help to recover from the... Fatigue from pregnancy and childbirth. Relieve her of daily tasks as much as possible and seize every opportunity to spend time with your child.
• Becoming a father also means accepting that your partner will be temporarily less available to you. A very close bond between you and your baby is perfectly normal during the first few months, and it will naturally lessen over time. Find your place by also being involved in your child's care and relationship.
• Over time, the triangular relationship between you, your partner, and your baby will become better and better structured. The bond between you and your wife is just as important for your baby as the bond between you and your mother: for a child, their father is the man their mother desires. And the place your wife gives you in her life strengthens your paternal role.
• If this isn't your first baby, the adjustment will likely be easier thanks to your experience as parents . However, pay close attention to how your older children react to the new baby: if you're interested in this topic, you can consult our advice sheet.
Protect your personal lives
The arrival of your baby has made you overjoyed parents. But you are still a man and a woman… Parenting, couple life, and personal life can absolutely be managed simultaneously with a little organization!
• If you feel the need to have some time for yourself outside of work, talk to your partner to find a solution together. She will also likely appreciate it if you both offer her some free time without the baby, just for herself. This way, you can both maintain the activities you enjoy outside of your new roles as parents.
• Preserving your relationship is essential. Take advantage of your evenings and your child's naps to carve out moments of intimacy for just the two of you, like before your baby was born. If possible, ask grandparents or a trusted person to babysit occasionally so you can have some time alone together.
• Your partner may have difficulty feeling comfortable in her body again after pregnancy. You will then have an essential role to play in valuing her femininity: tell her that you love her and that you find her beautiful, offer her small gifts, show her tenderness… All these small gestures will help her to feel as much a woman as a mother and to fully flourish in these two roles.
• After the birth, your partner's sexual desire and yours may not necessarily be in sync. She has a body she needs to rediscover and some apprehensions. Seduce her and show your interest. Observe how she reacts: if she had an episiotomy, penetration might be painful for her because the scar doesn't have the same elasticity as the previous tissues. Be very gentle and choose positions where your body weight doesn't put too much pressure on her. Don't be surprised if her pleasure changes: her pelvic floor muscles haven't fully recovered their tone, and her sensations may not be as intense as before. For the same reasons, your pleasure may also be less. Reassure her of your desire. Pelvic floor rehabilitation will allow you to rediscover as much pleasure as before, or even more.
Establishing good relationships with the family
• Give your baby as much regular contact as possible with your family Grandparents, cousins, uncles, and aunts are all special and unique relationships. The mix of ages in your child's environment is also a great asset for them. For you, the presence of your baby can be an opportunity to take a step back and improve relationships with certain people in your life.
• At the same time, clearly assert your place in relation to the rest of the family. Grandparents are often present and sometimes interfere a little too much in your daily life with your baby: if this is the case, you will have to gently make them understand that they must respect your choices and your way of living with your child.
